Also - Mark's dad is played by the director and his dialogue appears to appear as if by magic. I guess we should assume that they live in California. This tree that grows is unkillable, even when Mark's dad cuts the grass in the middle of November. His turtle Ichabod just watches in terror as Mark engages in a rite of eroto-comatose lucidity. On Thanksgiving, while everyone else is sleeping off the turkey, Mark is combining the wishbone of a turkey with the magic seeds and the magic words and the magic ring to grow the magic Christmas tree. When he wakes up, the witch gives him a magic ring, as well as some magic seeds that need planted. The moment someone told me I had to climb a tree to save a demonic cat, I would honestly be out of there, but Mark instead falls out of the tree and gets knocked out. One of them, Mark, helps a witch get her cat Lucifer out of a tree. In the black and white real world, three boys are walking home from school on Halloween. Your one and done directorial effort isn't getting a 4K re-release this year. And only one of them is a classic beloved by families for generations. Much like The Wizard of Oz, The Magic Christmas Tree thinks that reality is in black and white while dreams are in color. A cat named Lucifer stuck in the top of a tree. A witch who gives a boy a cheap looking Santa ring. A lawnmower than sounds like the horn on a clown car. A baker chasing a woman with a pie down the same street over and over. A boy who keeps a giant turtle in the drawer of his nightstand. Trading a meatloaf sandwich for a bologna sandwich and a banana. A frightening giant threatening to kidnap all the children watching at home. A man reading the morning paper unable to find any story about the flash of lightning he saw just few hours earlier. The same man destroying his mower when he runs into a tree he didn't know was there. A man trying over and over and over to start his lawnmower. Things you'll find in Magic Christmas Tree you won't find in any other Christmas movie: 1. And can someone tell me why the title isn't THE Magic Christmas Tree? Calling it Magic Christmas Tree without THE just sounds dumb. This isn't "so bad it's good" - this is just God awful. If you care to look, you'll find that Magic Christmas Tree is the only credit listed on IMDb for almost all of the "actors" and the director. I've seen home movies that look less amateurish than this piece of rubbish. It's a complete wretched mess of a movie. Magic Christmas Tree is easily one of the worst things I've ever taken the time to watch. Man, the only good performance in the whole thing is given by Ichabod, an actual tortoise who is shown eating clover (LOTS of clover - they obviously show this a lot only because they hoped to "pad" the running time of the movie.) Obviously this thing was made for nothing and probably shown at schools and churches and such. The scene where the little boy is lost in the woods and confronted by a giant "woodsman" is one of the creepiest things I've ever seen - it unintentionally is more uncomfortable than Ned Beatty's scenes in Deliverance. Obviously made with NO budget, the acting is atrocious - the guy who plays the father has a scene where he tries to start the family lawn mower and this "bit" goes on FOREVER - he pulls the chord - nothing - he pulls the chord - nothing - but they always add absurd sound effects with each pull! Circus horns, whatever, etc.this disaster isn't quite as good/bad as Santa Claus and the Ice Cream Bunny but it sure is close. THE MAGIC Christmas TREE is one of the worst kiddie movies ever made. I use it every year to torture my family. If you can track down a copy I highly recommend it. But really, it's sufficiently goofy enough on its own to provide an hour's worth of perverse amusement. This is one of those weird, institutional-feeling movies that would seem to be perfect fodder for the MST3K guys. It's like a kids' film directed by the people at Centron. I can totally imagine seeing this projected in 16mm on a white-painted brick wall back when I was in grade school at Green Lake Elementary. I kept waiting for the dad to run over Ichabod, the tortoise. The "wacky" lawnmower-starting scene goes on FOREVER. For those of us who love movies that are so excruciatingly awful that they go full circle into the territory of unintentionally surreal brilliance, then this is totally for you. In other words.low, low budget elementary school-level acting post-synched dialogue (a la Coleman Francis) and a plot that seems like it was made up as they went along. That is, in fact, an actual line of dialogue from the film, and it gives you a pretty good idea of what to expect.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |